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of vodka, coke and Subsonica.

Things happen so ', without you the program.
comes a time in which we must lay the cards on the table.
And then? So they say.

Yesterday I just had to pick things that I had left him before leaving. My pajamas and sweatshirts, skirts. Instead, everything is transformed into a pint in Camden, chicken dinner with fries and wine. And at 10, when I realized it was too late to go home, the morbid idea of \u200b\u200bgoing out to get another bottle of wine. Meanwhile, since my imbranataggine (in English are said to be clumsy), I found a way to reverse two glasses of wine on the carpet. True, we waste the wine that way. Anyway. After deciding that we needed more to drink ... well, here we come home with vodka and coke. Background
Subsonica. Some songs are on Facebook cuore.Scriverci stab at a distance of two centimeters. Status with 125 comments. Sick.
yet. Deciding to stay with him, because he betrayed me 'bacco and I do not want to return from roommates.
lost and confess. Me and him. Two opposing worlds. What you do not fully understand. To be told that her ex comes back from Brazil. That's natural stories, that it is not love.
What I will not want anything and what I feel is something so great, that put aside its own.
That now it is time to calm down. That sometimes I am disappointed that the overestimate. But that `I know without him being there, just no.Alle five in the morning will still be` a `a parlare.E absurd our relationship. How I messed up, hard to understand, moody and fickle, but I am.
What can I do ... love is a sin.
Although this is us. The two of us. SO. We refrain from harassing those who see us together, we understand that there ... so what?

not really know where we will end up ...

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turning point.

We're back in the land Albion. For centuries, outdated, not that they do not feel the need, but finally I was on vacation. Without the obsession with "I do, I gotta go, I sleep four hours." In Italy. That is where I officially realized that I belong no more ', but every so often need. Serve a mother who brings you the juice to bed and wakes you up, Christmas dinner, you need to play with cousins \u200b\u200band even get to see Winnie the Pooh on You Tube with one of them. Need to go out to eat and for once do the fake posh restaurant to cool and fill with meats, delicious mushroom risotto, filet with potatoes, creme caramel and cream. When they do not pay anything, even more 'beautiful.




I said, I love Italy. I love it. But I do not belong there. Of course, I have a job that excites me. of course I have to stop acting like a fifteen. 'Cause I actually know what I want and what I deserve.



I have twenty-seven, there is no point in hiding behind a finger. It is not that it should get married tomorrow, that is to start a family at once. `But let's face it, when you live alone for so you feel like having a family, no matter how it is. I grew up in a wonderful family, I know what it means to love and be loved. Anyone who knows me knows that I always throw it downward, that is a cosmic pessimist. I lose to human cases. I deal with two degrees as if it were two blankets. And I mean it. These holidays have made me realize that I actually want someone crazy for music as me. But that `I am entitled to want a beautiful family as mine. Someone to love me and not to have fun around SO, claiming to be freedom. Maybe there's a time for everything. And this is my time to understand. To understand what I want and that is that I need. And I will curse, but what I deserve. I spent tears and sacrifices made invisible to people who do not have them included. Maybe it's time that you do not have more simply. And began to think of you. What do you want to like and why. For what you did before, to the sacrifices that were made for you.



Think of words that you have been said before leaving, one of my usual ravings from pre-departure, leaving Italy. That's where you see important people, the one where you leave them, that of yourself you want to understand, I do not want here. The one where you understand that you give `who knows what to let the hours pass without something happening in particular, but you're fine.



I was seven days without a Blackberry without the obsession of watching, reading emails and Facebook updates. Even if I had it is a PC at your hand. I disconnected, I filled with music and I looked into it. And back. I thought about what I did, where I was. Spain, Ireland, Italy, Egypt, Israel, Jordan, Belgium, the Netherlands. New York is waiting for me. The year 2011 is waiting for me.



this particular year is `. I still can not actually give him a vote, because it `s so much I lost, I gained so much I learned.



I can not say I have a heart of stone, or heart in a cage, as they say The Strokes. It is not true. Because some believe to adapt to what is `, or try to change for someone, well, that I'm not able to do so.









that I'm back with the book. I'm crazy but that is is always the "good girl," Why do the poor me I can commit, but let's face it bluntly, are not so `.



I believe in family, I believe in Love. Well, I think, `if you will not find my other half, it means that should be like. I believe that I have received so much already. And I think I must learn to appreciate my crazy life. Without racing up the stairs of the subway. Friends of countries in a thousand. Of cousins \u200b\u200bwho know that "Na 'and` on the plane, lives far away, with the squirrels in the parks. " I believe in life. And it cost me to say.



I think I'll make it so, as I've always done. Alone. But he who loves me behind. Saro `saccharine, but this is me.



I'm the one that gives you the `soul, even if you do not deserve it. Will do anything ...



what drives to concerts.









I now know who I am.









The difference is that now I know and I became aware of what I really need.

December

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December.

time budgets, but also I would say no, or maybe you `. Confused? Yes
Why 'another year coming to an end, and this year things will have happened.
I started the year losing one of the people most important to me. You are to face death and is never an easy pill to swallow. Change you, affects you, you annoying. From January 2010 I was no more, or rather I have been, as amended, great.

In March, I met a person who has changed and is changing my life. Nine months SO, intense, full of laughter and merry drinking and come home in tears solitary, absurd speed at night for London, Tower Bridge in Primrose Hill or to break glass bottles at five o'clock in the morning. Concerts, music, dance, to degenerate. Of serious conversations, glances interrogation of children's behavior. Of sleepless nights, nights together but apart. A big question mark and at the same time a full stop.

In June an invigorating, Israel, Palestine and Jordan, the landscapes and desert that's left inside, there are not enough words to describe what I saw and what I experienced.

And now? Unknowns. In 2011 a flight to New York and a week of holidays already booked. A wedding and a concert by Subsonica in Bologna, where see again is one of my best friends in years. `And I move you to a concert, as only I know do. Classic.

And now? Now two weeks intense. I was filling out the agenda for work and I have literally a hole free. Job, training for front office and the tasks to be done as a school. Concerts (Black Rebel motorcyle, I decided to see the last minute instead of Interpol. Will be intense, I go alone and enjoy them to me 'till the end), evening (18 before leaving for Italy, the evening's Farewell ), meetings with friends, coffee. A life certainly not boring at all.

Yesterday I accompanied him to Wembley, without saying anything. What can you do for Christmas gift to a lover of concerts? Take him to a surprise concert in one of his favorite bands. Nothing that has spent tens of pounds and is now on bread and water (SO lose weight a little while) for two weeks. Nothing that has been with the worry for 5 days for I got tickets on Ebay and I was afraid that did not go or it was just one. Yesterday the ticket was missing and 'arrived. Pinta, dinner at the Thai and then on a train, destination, and then ... tickets for Pendulum. I believe nothing, no gift is repaid by his face, his embrace, the joy in his eyes. So
by a quiet Friday evening ', a night of bass drum'n to mosh with the children of poor English (and also big big man) pushing, jumping, sweating and dancing. Today I am full of bruises, blows and are cooked in the work, but is delighted at the bottom are.

can not pretend that there's no, you can not build where there are no emotions. And I live so `, feelings, Love Cursed, you are a` sentimental, although I see in the middle of the pogo, on the third row. I "prissy" and "posh" as he says, "that you spend on clothes, shoes" and then you're there by the middle of the pit. True. And I do not pull back, push, jump, knock. I close my eyes and lose myself in music. If this is the price you pay, I take into account, I try to send down there and go forward.
However you go, forward.
store small things, small gestures and phrases. Like Amelie, even as Amelie, `I'm so, little things, big emotions, what can I do ...

Two weeks to Italy, two weeks and star'o (or I'll try ') to stay a week without internet, phone, people. Me and my, me and my grandchildren, I and my family. Really, as sometimes when you live together does not tolerate them, especially during adolescence, well, you miss when you live alone. And live miles from your home, your country, makes you understand even more. Want to

pandoro, eggplant lasagna and mother, longing for the city of Lombardy, like the embrace of mother, wants to beat (affectionately) Pope ', of being told to put the shoe on the floor if no line of home.
Want to go to the cemetery to visit her and cry without anyone seeing me.


longing for home, longing for me.